Practicing RAIN, four steps to radical acceptance.
“Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn, a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter. If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life.” Wu Men
Let’s start by sitting comfortably, upright, alert, but at ease. Then, take a few deep breaths. Allow your breath to settle into its natural rhythm. If it feels comfortable, close your eyes. Otherwise, keep them half open while gazing down by slightly tucking your head.
Recognize.
First, bring to mind a recent experience that unsettled you. Take the time to sense how your body feels—perhaps a specific area of tightness like your chest, throat, or belly. Anxiety is usually reflected in my intestinal tract, while anger appears in my chest. Notice what is coming up—the feelings and emotions that affected you.
Allow.
Next, pause. Allow any feelings to be. Don’t try to avoid them or fix them. You are not accepting, denying, judging, or looking for solutions. The objective is to attend and befriend these feelings for a short period.
Investigate.
Now, ask some questions. It is not necessary to have all the answers right away; just an attitude of inquiry and acceptance of whatever comes to mind.
What demands my attention?
Exactly, what do I believe is happening?
What do these feelings most need?
Behind most emotions lies a desire for something to go a certain way—a grasping for a specific outcome. Perhaps you are clinging to some idea of how things should be—a desire for control calling from within you.
Nourish
Finally, offer yourself a few words of encouragement, a reminder that everything is how it should be. I like to whisper the words: “All is good as it is” and ….” I am loving awareness.”
To conclude, focus on all the blessings and abundance in your life. A sense of gratitude brings perspective and serenity to most situations. Remember your intention to awaken and your desire to break away from the bonds of the endless stories you tell yourself. To be free. If you can imagine it, you can make it happen.
Take a few moments to sense how you feel after this practice. What stands out as something you can carry with you moving forward?
* Based on the book “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach.