Romulo Vallejo - Mindful Living

Mindfulness of breath.

By Romulo Vallejo on April 21, 2023

My journey to awakening begins by learning to steady my attention. I love that our ancestors referred to the challenges they experienced when attempting this as “monkey mind,” a mind that refuses to remain still. Meditative practices aim at this simple yet elusive goal. But there is something we all do which provides a window to our inner workings: Breathe.

Mindfulness of the breath is taught first in most meditation circles because, as a foundation, it provides an anchor to steady the mind. I love this analogy. One of the most important things I learned as a skipper was to anchor safely. Anchoring a sailboat can be challenging, especially when you factor in ocean currents or while amid other boats. Mastering this skill takes lots of practice and patience. The payoff is peace of mind under less-than-ideal navigating circumstances.

For most of us, mindfulness of breathing begins with finding a posture that supports the process, setting an intention, and trusting that whatever happens is fine. As a Zen student, posture details carry a purpose and meaning that dates back to a centuries-old lineage. This is the path I travel. But less formal and equally valuable instructions are part of other traditions. The point is to find a posture that works for you, settle in the present moment, and start by taking a few deep breaths through your nose. Then, gradually allow whatever form your normal breathing takes.

Remember that the practice is not about controlling our thoughts or breath but about rising and falling with them, like the tides of an ocean, while returning to our anchor. Gradually, your breath will steady, and so will your mind. Whether you do this for three minutes or thirty is not as important as doing it regularly.

After countless times anchoring the 32-footer “Together” safely, I felt ready to take the boat out for the day. Alone, in the vastness of Biscayne Bay, I enjoyed the freedom of using the wind to power my sails with just the right amount of attention to make it both a joy and a practice. Mindfulness of breath has become that to me as well, a sacred time I set aside every day to go back to what is essential as I face the challenges of my life.

Photo by Ricko Pan on Unsplash

“Blessed Monotony” – The Art of Practice.

By Romulo Vallejo on April 15, 2023

After a year of regular sitting meditations, half-day online retreats, and weekly Dharma talks, the first instruction from my Zen teacher as a formal student was to practice counting my breath. While sitting in a prescribed way, I was instructed to inhale and exhale through my nose, ONE. Once again, TWO. “A well-trained meditator,” Sensei Chodo said, “might be able to get to three before his mind interrupts.” At that time, one must begin to count again. “A famous Zen Master spent years at ONE,” he added. How do you sell that to people? You don’t.

In a world driven by instant gratification, on-demand entertainment at our fingertips, and Uber Eats, Mindfulness meditation feels boring. Whether it is Zazen or simply laying down on the floor doing a body scan, the purpose is to remain still and pay attention while our brains want to continue to the next thing.

“The best-adjusted person in modern society,” says Jack Kornfield, “is the person who’s not dead and not alive, just numb.” As simple as this truth might sound, the idea is very counter-cultural. While the truth is that there are no free passes in Mindfulness Meditation, there is a quality of sincerity, an aspiration, that keeps me going. This practice becomes, in a certain way, an act of faith.

At the beginning stages of our practice, many of us think of ourselves as “bad meditators.” Assuming that one is not good at something is one of the first hindrances to practice; our doubting mind runs away from fear and wants to return to numbness. It happens because, at times, Mindfulness can bring up painful thoughts, emotions, and even hidden traumas. We are skilled at avoiding pain. But “without suffering,” Thich Nhat Hanh says, “There is no way to cultivate understanding and compassion.”

How do we manage to become skillful at something so opposite to what we have learned to do most of our lives? The answer, Baker Roshi says, is “intention and attention.” I intend to awaken, desire to break free from habitual patterns of reactivity, and long to learn the essence of what it means to be fully alive. These are the reasons I keep returning to what Gandhi referred to as “Blessed monotony.” As author Hellen Keller says, “The only way to the other side is through.” I could not agree more. No shortcuts.

The meaning of Mindfulness

By Romulo Vallejo on April 13, 2023

There are as many definitions of mindfulness as teachers of this millennial practice. The most important question is, what does mindfulness mean to you? In my quest for an answer, I joined MMTCP, a program that trains future generations of mindfulness teachers worldwide. It is the legacy project of two of the most cherished meditation teachers of our time, Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach, coming together to share what they have learned over decades of practice and teaching.

The first thing I learned is that Mindfulness is part of a family of ancient meditation practices aiming to train the mind. Although thousands of years old, Mindfulness meditation has sparked the curiosity of many Westerners over the last few decades. It has been studied scientifically; taught in educational, corporate, religious, secular, military, sports, and mental health groups; and shared in the most diverse settings across the globe. Just as there are many forms of meditation, there are also several forms of Mindfulness, most notably: of the body, feelings, thoughts, and mental states.

The most common concepts associated with the definition of the word mindfulness are awareness, concentration, presence, acceptance, wakefulness, and alertness. These concepts share a quality of attention to the present moment that is both natural and elusive to most of us. Mindfulness Meditation is, at the same time, easy to explain, hard to practice, and an art form to teach.

So, I decided to write about my experiences with MMTCP and another community close to my heart, the NYZC for contemplative care, a Soto Zen Sangha I belong to. Regardless of your faith tradition (I was raised Catholic), your ethnic background (I am white but see myself as part of what is known as a “third space”), your belief, or lack thereof, in a supernatural order, power, great energy, God or gods, we probably share similar existential questions, long to reconnect with the mystery of life, want to live meaningful lives, seek to co-create our understanding of mindfulness in community, and more importantly, fulfill its practical aspect, mindful living.

I invite you to take this journey with me, explore the sacred teachings, share questions and answers, and find with me the endless possibilities and potential that mindfulness practices evoke and the transformational energy they release to the world. Whoever you are and wherever you come from, you are welcome into this space. No separation.

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